It’s My Party

Back in party conference season, when I first drafted this, I was once again painfully aware that I’m not welcome at any of them. Not because I’ve been protesting any conferences, but because, politically involved and opinionated as I am, I’m not actually a member of any political party.

Since an argument with a Green Party member at Guildford’s Ambient Picnic during my teenage years (I accused him, quite indignantly, of splitting the Lib Dem vote) I’ve been, more or less, helping out the Greens at every available opportunity (I lost the argument pretty spectacularly). I meant to sign up for membership so many times, but for one reason or another it never happened. Though there’re a fair few Greens among my friends, my more Liberal side waxes and wanes. I do still quite like the Greens, despite being a little bothered by certain policies (mostly silly things) and a certain niggling worry that they’re a little too statist for my liking. Thing is, I quite like the Lib Dems too, though their local election paperwork tends to be a mass of dodgy graphs and their actions regarding tuition fees have left something to be desired (to phrase that as the understatement of the year). And despite not getting a mention until the 237th word of this post, and their electoral pact with the original tuition-fee pledge breakers,1 I’ve more than a soft spot for the Co-operative Party.

So to cut, at last, to the chase – these worries and confessions have all been by way of clearing the air before this momentous and ridiculous announcement:

I will be leaving my political allegiances for the next three years up to the fates to decide2. The Co-operative Party, the Lib Dems, and the Greens will be going into my hat and will each receive, in turn, a year of my fortune and favour. I’ll not campaign for anyone else (when I sign an agreement, I stick to it). I’ll try my best to defend them in argument. I’ll even go to conference, where I can, and try to make the Greens a little more liberal, the Lib Dems a little more green, and try to get the Co-op Party to disaffiliate from their rose-bearing big sister.

God help me, especially if there’s an early dissolution.3


1 The Labour Party manifesto for the 2001 general election said that the party “will not introduce top-up fees and has legislated against them.” Then, after winning a governing majority of their own (unlike the Lib Dems’ mere 16% of the government benches) they introduced £3000 top-up fees. And invaded Iraq, of course, but at least they hadn’t made a manifesto pledge not to do that.
2 I reserve the right to back out on this, if I can come up with a really, really good reason.
3 File any early dissolution under “really, really good reason”.